Relinquishing this pushing of my advice is not a cop-out or a letting go of parental responsibility. It is a deeply rooted recognition that God, divine Mind, is the most effective Teacher and communicator. When I am frustrated in my efforts to communicate an idea to my children, I withdraw from the battle scene. I quiet my own thinking and pray, “Let the angels tell them.”

This phrase is the title of a poem that appeared in The Christian Science Journal (September 1981, p. 524). I have it taped on my bathroom mirror as a constant reminder that human persuasion is not the most effective way to communicate. Angels can do the job best. Angels, as described in Science and Health by Mary Baker Eddy, are “God’s thoughts passing to man; spiritual intuitions, pure and perfect; the inspiration of goodness, purity, and immortality, counteracting all evil, sensuality, and mortality” (p. 581).

God, infinite Mind, is always imparting right ideas to His offspring. It is the nature of Mind to communicate itself. And it is the nature of man, God’s spiritual likeness, to be receptive. Since Dad and the kids are in their true identity each God’s idea, divine communication reaches all parties. It doesn’t necessarily have to go through me as a parent in order to reach my children, because Minds needs no mediums or interpreters.

Although this clear communication from God to man is always going on, we have to listen to God with our whole heart in order to tune out the interference of personal will. Then we hear the angel messages and can act on them.

When I pray to let angels take over, I am really praying for myself as a parent. Fathers—and mothers—may want to take personal control, to dominate the situation and resolve it quickly. There’s no need to argue, to discuss—so the reasoning goes—because we know the way to do things. Ourway.

There’s no question that firm direction is sometimes needed. But when demands are based on human opinions rather than on divine direction, the results can be counterproductive. Both father and child become victims of human will, and confrontation often results.

On the parenting scene, such confrontations may seem inevitable. But this is where a humble turning to angels is most effective. After a flare-up—or even better, before one occurs—yielding one’s thought to God’s angel messages brings calm, reason, and healing. We see that “… the battle is not [ours], but God’s” (II Chron. 20:15). When we allow God to take the reins, human will dissolves. Agitation drains.

Trusting that God is constantly sending His children angel messages gives us the courage to have more patience. And patience is the beginning of the healing of relationship rifts. Science and Health offers this wise counsel: “What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds” (p. 4).

Our hearts may yearn for these qualities to characterize our dealings with our children, but this is sometimes a tough thing to demonstrate. Yet even in the toughest situations, the Christ is present to open the way. It is the role of the Christ, the divine influence always present on the human scene, to redeem thought that has gone astray, to bring thought into line with God, divine Love.

We can’t experience this redemption through human willpower. Christ comes to us and does its work only as we give up human will. It was Jesus’ complete yielding of his own will to the divine that enabled him to redeem sinners and to reform the character of those with whom he came into contact. And the effect of this healing work was always to restore to the individual a right sense of his or her relation to God.

Ultimately, it is this loving relation between the divine Parent and His child that counts. Understanding it brings healing to whatever parent-child struggles we may be having. Because God is Spirit, the man of His creating is spiritual. He is inseparable from God. He is securely under the harmonious government of his heavenly Father, and there is nothing that can oppose or reverse this fact. God and His ideas are never in conflict, never at odds with each other. In fact, no stubborn, misguided will can rend this indestructible relationship.

God, in His infinite wisdom and love, causes each of His children to be obedient to Him. The spiritual fact is, no one can ever go astray. Human efforts to take control are limited in their effectiveness if they presume that God’s wisdom is lacking, that somehow He has relinquished His control of His children.

So as I pray, I make sure I haven’t bought into that erroneous presumption. I endeavor to put aside my own opinions and acknowledge the constant presence of God’s thoughts, already communicating right ideas to each of His children, my teens and myself included. Angelic communication is gentle, thoroughly effective, and has no element of coercion or pleading. It leads us to take the right action at the right time, and there’s no resistance to this directing because divine power is behind it.

As I step back from the human scene, I am better able to see the spiritual selfhood of each family member. This selfhood contains not one speck of disobedience, intimidation, or self-destruction. Each of us is made to glorify God.

By enlisting angels in my parenting, I have seen situations corrected and turned around. My daughters have found solutions to problems, have grown in grace and ability, and have not been hurt by willful mistakes. I’ve seen increased harmony in parent-child communication, resulting in receptivity to reasons behind decisions, more effective study habits, better time management, more cheerful giving, and a livelier expression of gratitude for what it takes to make a family function smoothly.

I, too, have grown greatly. Angels have helped me to express more patience and grace, and have healed the anguish caused when I impose my own agenda. I am more sensitive to supporting a child dealing with disappointment or fear. If peer pressure takes up residence in my child’s thought, I am less fearful as we work together to resist and destroy harmful influences.

Deeply satisfying relationships are nurtured by angels. Our trust in their work saves a lot of sermonizing and elevates parent-child relationships to a spiritual basis.